Major luxury cosmetics brands offer in beauty department stores a free makeup session.
Thoughts on a more complex experience than it seems.
Rational / Irrational
In a society where everything has a price, we are always instinctively wary of what is free. So when a Saturday afternoon we are offered to get a free makeup with a palette of products C., our first reaction is to refuse. It is our reptilian brain, located in the cortex, the one who smells the danger and the contradiction, telling us, "everything has a price ", "luxury is never free", "I will be obliged to buy a product"."No, no, the make-up session is absolutely free and no purchase is necessary", reassures the beautiful lady, gold and black surroundings, background music, and intoxicating scents ...And the idea starts to germinate in us that we could be, us too, just for a moment, a star. This time it is our cognitive brain which is concerned and without controlling anything, sends us thousands of images, impressions, visual and sound emotions : C. is luxury. C. is professional. It is also and foremost the promise to be beautiful!
Irrational
Perched on a stool, we are exhibited to passers-by in the aisles. First confirmation: yes! I am a star that everyone is watching.
For 30 minutes, total bliss in expert hands touching our face. This time, it is the reward circuit that is taking place: a group of neurons located in the center of our brain's relays the pleasure information through a particular chemical messenger: the dopamine.
Our rational mind has already left us with the happiness we expect of being beautiful, beautiful as a star maked-up by a professional. Mirror, my beautiful mirror! Tell me that I am beautiful! The devil greed: $150 for a miracle cream! No hesitation! I take it!
Rational
Pressed to find a reason, our rational brain takes over: "Isn't it better to have a single cream brand than 10 low-end products?", "and besides that, I did not spend that much this month."
But beyond that, it is first and foremost the guilt that drives us to buy. Our mind, always looking for justification, completes a quick calculation: what is the value of a professional makeup session in a great spa? at least $150. "So it is normal to buy at least a cream, " whispered in our ear our little "Gremlin". Yes of course, you know him! It is the one who always reminds us that we do not deserve what we are offered. That we are not worthy. That we must give back when we get a present. That we must be grateful. Thus, in order to be absolute peace with their conscience, some of our new stars buy $200 of C. products in thanks for a makeup session that they never asked.
Coach's Corner: Feeling guilty
Recent studies conducted in the United States and Spain show that women feel guilty 20 times more than men and tend not to take credit for their success, whatever their age, cultural and educational backgrounds. In response to a: "congratulations for your awesome work", men will answer: "I am conscious of having done a very good job", typical women's response is: "I never would have done it without the help of Peter and ideas of John ". This posture prevents women from achieving high performance levels and access to certain jobs. If female guilt is unfortunately genetic - women are born more empathetic, while males brains more dominated by understanding and building systems and solutions - the fact to be aware of this difference could lead women to seek more self-acceptance. If empathy is a wonderful virtue, self-depreciation has also lead women to more anxiety and depressive disorders.
Guilt is primary based on a misuse of the sense of duty. In our example, we "should" not buy a cream, because buying a cream was not a condition of our makeup. Similarly, if one has done an important job, she "must" not give credit to those who have just helped out. Only in changing our view of our duty and agreeing to be guided by what motivates us we can create the conditions to realize our full potential.
In the next issue of "difference" I will discuss the effect of guilt and duty on our relationships with others.
Latest news
LATEST NEWS
Take action and manage your team. Help them find out what makes them happy. Take a look at your employees performances with that prospective in mind: motivation / skills. Ask yourself this question: do they like what they do and do they have the skills to do it ? If they don't have the skills : train them. If they don't have the motivation, give them a new challenge. If they still don't make it, change them.
How do you use your time with your co-workers ? Cause actually, the way you use your time in your relationships at work tells a lot about yourself
Are you structuring positive, constructive, meaningful relationships with others ? Do you try to create powerful conversations with your colleagues, the one that help them improve and feel good ? Do you try to open the conversations, do positive feedback to others' suggestions ?
Do you try to be nice and value the contributions of others ? Do you create intimacy, in recognizing unconditionally the person in front of you ? Are you valuing relationships that contribute to a good climate in the company ?
...or.. do you play it totally personal ? do you kill in one word others suggestions ? are you in competition, do you spend your time thinking about strategies to destroy others and compromise them ? do you see yourself playing political games and trying to take revenges ?
If you are most of the time in the second category, you actually loose your time. You certainly need to take a serious look inside of you, or to reconsider your environment.
Need for a change in your carreer ?
Feb 2, 2012 - We all feel sometimes a disconnection between us and our job. We all feel sometimes bored, with no motivation and without being able to see the real purpose of what we do, the contribution, the value of our day to day hard work. Sometimes ! But when those questions come back all the time, it might be the sign that we need to take a more serious look inside and understand deeper what is going on: What is working and what can I improve ? do I need to reassess my skills ? change my behaviors ? Am I willing to take a new challenge ? Do I want to go in another field ? Stay in the same company ? Give a try to something totally different. With my new Skills Assessment methodology, I offer you a comprehensive yet totally flexible approach to help you answer those questions and move forward... for the good reasons. If you feel that it is time for you to take new steps in your job, or if you simply want to find a new job, contact me for a free introductory session. We will explore your needs, your desires, and find together the best way for you to move forward.
Join the conversation
Wednesday December 14, our little group had his second "informal conversation around a coffee". Yes, it is new ! Each second wednesday of the month, I invite you to "join the conversation", connect with others in a friendly atmosphere from 8:30 to 10 am. Each participant share his views on topics like balance, relationships, confidence. Anyone with a positive energy and a true desire to contribute is welcome.
For more details, call me 786-547-2390
The need to clarify
January 18, 2012- I am working with a wonderful young athlete who is considering stopping her career and find a job in Corporate America. Challenging right ? Even for a smart young lady with a great potential. We work on her self confidence, her assumptions, her doubts. But what helps her most is the clarification of what she really wants and what she achieved so far. Clear on her goals and on herself, she now feels confident during her interviews and ready to answer all the tough questions. Be clear on ourselves is the first step to succeed in our relationships with others.
The figure of the month
“Worker satisfaction in the United States is at an all-time low,” reports the New York Times. “Only 45 percent of workers are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61 percent in 1987. The findings show that the decline goes well beyond concerns about job security. Employees are unhappy about the design of their jobs, the health of their organizations and the quality of their managers.”